the weather still continues charming.

I am confused.

There were some highlights today though. I'm not sure what any Oedipal complications might ensue from a public pantsing (and I certainly don't want to think about such implications), but let me say it is nice to use an iceberg analogy without hearing anything about the id, ego, or superego (or concious/subconcious/unconcious). Instead, the tip of the iceberg (the part that pokes above the surface of the sea so penguins can lounge around on it and unsinkable ships can smash on it thereby spawning ridiculous movies that I refuse to watch) is representative of the skill involved in empathic listening (a skill which still seems beyond my grasp as I am still in the stage of concious incompetence, see the post below the tarantula for more information). The real heft of the iceberg, however, is found beneath the surface, and consists of one's attitude. Because, lets face it, if you're not listening with real intent, it doesn't matter how much skill you've got. You're going to sink, and it isn't going to be pretty. Especially in those highly emotional situations where trust is scarce.

Maybe it's just me, but I find it very stressful to even verbally vent to people when I don't feel like I'm really getting feedback. What's worse is when you talk and talk and talk and they don't. Say. Anything. You feel very ridiculous after you've spilled your soul/frustrations/marbles everywhere, and the other person just sits there like they aren't listening (or are perhaps asleep, or begins talking about something totally bland and unrealated once you're done), and you get to pick it all up and limp pathetically away, and then trust is even lower. A certain person in my family does that a lot, and it absolutely aggrivates me. Actually, maybe that's why they do it.

But somehow I'm not seeing yet how having someone tell you (sorry, use qualifiers, such as "it sounds like you were distraught when Greta's roomate started eating your bandana collection") that you're upset, especially right after you've told them you're upset, is supposed to help anything. I mean, maybe it's all right initially, you know, getting on the same page and all, but after you keep doing that over and over again, where do you go? I hope we learn this soon, because then maybe this whole thing might fit together better for me.

Another thing we touched on today is that when you are in a situation where you're probing, try not to do it autobiographically (especially when that means applying your life to a situation that you don't know anything about yet and end up "punching holes in someone's onion"). And that judgements are bad (whoops, that was a judgement, huh). At least in the context of calling someone crazy or something. Because we all fall at different places on the DSM IV-TR and associated diagnostic/classification/assessment tools at different places at different times at our lives. Also, judgements (unrighteous judgements) are based around pride which is emnity between oneself and another individual and, judging by the cyclical patterns found in the Book of Mormon, often referred to as the "Pride Cycle," we know nothing goes well when pride takes over. Because "I" is right in the middle of prIde, and, frankly, it's not all about you. When we're dealing with other people, it's important to remember that we are all children of God and that they all have their own backgrounds and experiences and gifts and contributions to make to the world. In our dealings with our Brothers and Sisters, we must think not only of what the Savior would do, but how He would do it. As mentioned in class, even Moroni had his moments of frustration, but when Pahoran (who, instead of getting defensive, responded calmly and recognized Moroni's heart was in the right place) replied, Moroni recognized his own mistakes and was humbled. If we have humility and the right attitude, we can become empathic listeners.

Sorry, that was really long.